On the Ferry to Ireland, a very suntanned male approaches the trio. 'I see your poor friend is a little sea-sick' he says mockingly, looking at GayRay hanging over the rails puking his guts up.
'Yes, replies Matilda, with a resigned sigh.
'If you are not sea-sick yourselves, perhaps you would care to join me for dinner tonight ?' the suntanned, Riviera type enquired politely of Matilda and Inky. 'Oh we would love to !' gushed Inky, the thought of free food always made him swoon.
Matilda was hesitant. 'We don't even know your name' she said surprised.
'I am el Foshio' replied the would be latin looking lover.
'I am to guide you when you reach Ireland to the House of the 'Effin Princesses'.

Gay Ray dressed Inky for dinner that night in an exquisite tuxedo and perfectly tied bow tie. He polished Inky's shoes till they were like mirrors and sprayed him with fine cologne.
'You are irresistable tonight' sighed Gay Ray..it's amazing how well you scrub up ' he flattered.
Inky looked at his reflection in the mirror and sucked in his cheeks and pouted. trying his best to construct a Victoria Beckham pose.
Matilda entered the room looking stunning in a backless frontless red
slinky number.
GayRay, feeling better dressed in his favourite white tux took one of Matildas arms and Inky took the other.
They entered the presidential suite to find their host awaiting them. smiling, charming, debonnair and suave.
Please be seated, he waved to the dining area, and a table laden with every kind of delicacy one could wish for.
Wine was poured for them and their gracious host implored his guests to enjoy his banquet.
Inky got stuck in straight away..spearing a whole turkey and scooping a bowl of mashed potato into his mouth.
Gay Ray sat admiring the floral center piece with the ribbons and sugared fruits..so artistic !
Matilda eyed the extravagant feast warily. El Foshio smiled benignly and suggested she tried the oysters.
Finally all three were happily gorging themselves on the most delicious morsels ever served!.
El Foshio leaned back..happy, smirking evily
He watched for the signs..yes..they were beginning to slow down..to yawn..Inky could only eat half a gateaux then his head fell face down in his plate. Gay Ray slithered to the floor, tongue lolling.
Matilda shot El Foshio a startled look and fell sideways, unconscious.
El Foshio ordered the waiters to tie and gag his guests and to lie them side by side on the bed.
What had he in store for the bloated Inky, the Gay Ray and the waltzing matilda ?<br><br>Post edited by: Minxy, at: 2007/07/15 12:19

&quot;ufff what happened?&quot; inki asked as he started to wake.
&quot;Ah the famous inki winki&quot; came a voice from the shadows.
Inki looked round to see he was sandwiched inbetween Matilda and GayRay, GayRay was starting to wake too, Matilda just lay there , snoring her head off. As inki looked in to the shadows a man wheeled out in to the light &quot;The name is Foshio, Dr El Foshio&quot; he introduced himself and he stroked the fluffy white cat in his lap.
&quot;ahh i remember you dude, you're fed me, and i have to add it was a rather tasty meal!&quot;
&quot;What we doing here?&quot; enquired GayRay.
&quot;Let me explain&quot; started El Foshio&quot;I will be blunt, i am in love with Matilda and she doesn't ever notice me, i follow her everywhere, i may as well be invisible, she just never notices me and then YOU TWO come along and there she is pining after you inki! So the day has come, I will have my beloved and you two will be fed to my sharks muhahahahaha&quot;
&quot;oh man, come on that was an accident, i don;t have any interest in her man!&quot; wailed inki.
GayRay thought it was a good idea to stick to bots, yeah sure Matilda was his type but at the end of the day the choice of being fed to the shark all for Matilda, didn't seem worth it &quot;and i'm Gay&quot; he piped up sheepishly, it always came in handy to use his femanine side to get out of these situations.
&quot;Really?&quot; asked foshio of them both.
&quot;YES!!&quot; they both shouted, &quot;look man take her, let us go before she awakes, you can tell her that we fell in your pool of sharks and she will think we died and when she is all upset take advantage, go for the the sympathy leg over&quot;
&quot;Oh wow, you really are wise where women are concerned&quot; replied Foshio loving the idea as he ordered his henchmen to release the prisoner and set the two men free, he would do just as inki asked and Matilda would wake from her deep snoring sleep, none the wiser.
As the two men walked out into the driveway, Foshio passed them his keys to his austen martin DB7 car in a smooth dull gold colour &quot; take my car and have fun what ever you do in life &quot; and he sent the two very grateful men on their way.
&quot;Quick ray you drive, i can't drive, i tried to learn once but i was too busy perving over my female driving instructor&quot; inki explained under his breath.
&quot;Typical&quot; replied Ray rolling his eyes, as he slipped in to the drivers seat, and off they both went to adventures new.

As Inki and gay Ray are coasting down the road, a young girl with long dark hair stumbles out of the bushes, trips on her feet and falls into the road. Brakes squealing, tires burning the car zig zags out of control as gay ray wrestles with the wheel. The car finally comes to a stop just inches away from the figure laying helplessly in the road.

Gay Ray and Inki jump out of the car, are you ok they ask,hearts pounding in their chests, that was way too close for comfort, getting no response Inki nudges the girl... she opens her eyes sobbing... oh i am hopelessly lost. As inki thinks how close the car came to running her over he says well lost isn't so bad, what is your name? Well my friends call me sopaz, and i am looking for nidzi, she has promised to make me spaghetti.

Inki never missing an opportunity for food, rubs his hands over his ever increasing girth and says have no fear my dear young one, we are just the ones who can help you find this nidzi..... little does inki know who nidzi actually is ....

&quot;so tell me about this friend of yours...where does she live?&quot; asked inki.
&quot;Oh she lives in ENgland near manchester somewhere but have never left my homeland before and i got lost&quot; Explained Sopaz.
&quot;What kind of name is Sopaz? it sounds so exotic&quot; asked inki
&quot;My real name is Jazzy but Nidzi always call me Spaz or Sopaz, I call her nadz coz I know it upsets her&quot; replied Sopaz
&quot;What a starnge thing to do&quot; piped up Gay Ray, &quot;Call your friends names they don;t like&quot;
&quot;Oh its an old grotto tradition, we always done it, its not a problem&quot; Sopaz carried on explaining.
&quot;hmm Nidzi, hmm reminds me of a person I know, but that's another story&quot; said inki quietly. &quot;so Spaghetti huh? she cooking for you?&quot;
&quot;yes, but that was two days ago, my food will be cold by now, bah!&quot; said the Sopaz
&quot;Wow it will be cold by now!&quot; said inki at the shock of wasted food &quot;Ok Ray, we are on amission! Put the pedal to the metal and lets find Nidzi's place!&quot;
&quot;aye aye captain!&quot; replied Ray as the car sped in a cloud of dust into the sunset

the journey was a long one, so intex decided to make more conversation..

&quot;do you like donuts?&quot; he asked Sopaz
Sopaz just started at him, speachless....<br><br>Post edited by: Nidi, at: 2007/07/20 08:36

As Inki sits there quietly thinking about donuts with Sopaz staring at him, he figures it is a language problem and that she just doesn't understand him, but something she said earlier is stuck in his mind. Hmmmmmm he wonders what was it, something that sounded so familiar.Suddenly the thought forms in his mind... she said she was lost, that is what sounded so familiar and he thinks OMG Lost... he was left with Vi and B. Suddenly he laughs to himself, ahhh by now Lost has converted all those women and is back home in Canada playing with new toys.

While Ray is driving he decides to start the conversation going. I am familiar with Manchester, fine dining, theatre, festivals, shopping, why there is even a gay village. Why i have heard it said that you can eat for 30 days in Manchester and not have the same style of cuisine twice.Oh and Inki did you know that there is a food and drink festival held in Manchester every year?

So tell me Sopaz,I can get us to Manchester but it is a big place how do we go about finding this Nidzi of yours?